Here’s to Celebrating the Little Things

One sure-fire way to feel generally more optimistic is to find things to celebrate as often as possible. Especially the little things. Change the toner on the office copier without help? Give yourself a mental high-five. Did your spouse/your child/you do an exceptional job mowing the yard/folding a mountain of laundry/deep cleaning the kitchen? Toast the occasion. Celebrate the medium and the large moments, too, of course but don’t forget the little wins. It’s easy to remember to applaud the earning of a driver’s license or diploma, and relatively easy to remember to mark the finale of a tricky work project or 10K run, but don’t sleep on changing that toner. 

Turns out people need small wins, and it’s a good idea to make an extra effort to recognize them. One reason is that our brains are wired to remember negative experiences more than positive ones – a phenomenon called ‘negativity bias.’ It serves a purpose and has for thousands of years. We learn things from negative experiences – what hurts, what’s dangerous or who we can trust. Useful. Life-saving, even. However, remembering the good stuff is what builds our self-esteem. Good memories and positive experiences make life richer. In business settings, breaking a big project into little, conquerable tasks creates a series of successes, which keeps people engaged and motivated. Small wins are also lots of fun. 

Good emotional health in our personal lives can benefit from small wins (and little celebrations), too. Dr. David Burns, in his book ‘Feeling Good,’ tells us that it’s really important to keep track of, reflect on and celebrate “not just our major achievements, but also our seemingly minor ones.” He maintains that really honing in on small wins, and doing so consistently, can help people lessen depression. That is not to say, however, that someone dealing with depression shouldn’t seek help from a licensed counselor or therapist – they absolutely should. Adding tactics like the ones Burns recommends can help, too.  

Interestingly, studies have indicated that great big life events don’t benefit our well-being the way lots of little bitty ones do. A great example: winning the lottery does not make people happier in the long run. Professor Daniel Mochon led a research team at MIT’s Sloan School of Management which found that “regular minor boosts from ordinary activities can have a lasting and cumulative effect.” Examples: people who regularly exercise, take yoga classes or attend religious services feel happier immediately after doing so but also those little mood boosts build on one another over time, making for increased general satisfaction in life.

Every little celebration and every ‘small win’ give your brain a little burst of dopamine, a feel-good neurotransmitter that helps us discern pleasure. You feel a dopamine release, AKA a dopamine rush, when you smell cookies, exercise, pet your dog, have an orgasm or, on the negative side, binge on social media, smoke cigarettes or use recreational drugs like cocaine or heroin. ‘Chasing dopamine’ in unhealthy ways can lead to addiction. If you or someone you know needs help with addiction, INTEGRIS Health can help.  

What positively induced dopamine bursts, like those you get from little celebrations, do to your body is pretty terrific. You feel motivation, satisfaction and pleasure. Dopamine also helps us to anticipate pleasure. It helps with memory and learning (as does serotonin), especially in remembering events that have motivational significance to you. It’s important for romantic attachment – romantic attachment in people is the result of a dance between oxytocin (AKA the ‘love molecule’) and dopamine. There’s more. Dopamine can make time feel faster (time flies when you’re having fun), relieve nausea by lowering pressure in the gut, stimulate your sex drive and increase creativity.

There are four feel-good hormones: dopamine, serotonin, endorphins and oxytocin. They all do similar things (create feelings of well-being) and celebrating the little things can trigger their release.

If you’re uncertain about what counts as celebration-worthy, think of it like this: imagine your only goals for each day are to get out of bed in the morning, and get back in bed at bedtime. Anything in between is fair game for celebrating.

Here are some tips to help celebrate the small victories.

See something, say something. Notice something good. Acknowledge it.  

Name it. One couple, during the earliest, most frightening days of the pandemic, created ‘Stout-erdays.’ They shared a love of stout beer, so every Saturday they enjoyed a beer together. Stout-erday became a highlight of the week. What’s something you enjoy? Pasta-day, Movie-day…you decide!

Congratulate yourself. How much better might you feel if you set a goal of congratulating yourself for something small three times a day? It can be silly, in fact the sillier the better. Did you do a boss job flossing? Give yourself a high five. 

Reward yourself for effort. A reward is anything that gives you a little joy. Watch a silly video or enjoy a cookie. Listen to your favorite song (while dancing!) or pet your dog. Go outside for a few minutes and revel in the sunshine.

Ten minutes. When you’re depressed, or just in a slump, it’s hard to make yourself exercise – even though we know exercise is a proven mood booster. We tend to adopt an all-or-nothing mindset about it, but that’s not helpful. Instead of aiming for an hourlong cardio sesh, shoot for a ten-minute walk. Or a five-minute stretch. Then congratulate yourself!

Include others. Did you see someone do something worth celebrating? Perhaps they finished a project or hit a personal goal. Or maybe they just made it through a tough day or unusually difficult meeting. Congratulate them! Show them that you see their success. Also, if you did something you’re proud of, call or text a friend. Share the good!

Here are some ‘small wins’ to build into your day, which you can then (you guessed it) celebrate:

Make your bed. Psychology Today says that accomplishing this small goal “gives your brain a nice, refreshing spritz of dopamine.”

Daydream. It’s also known as constructive internal reflection,’ and it’s linked with overall social and emotional well-being.

Friday cupcakes. When things aren’t easy, just making it to Friday is something to celebrate. Make (and keep) a cupcake date with yourself and give yourself a well-earned treat.

Set a healthy boundary. It’s hard to say no or put yourself first, so pat yourself on the back every time you do.

Self-care. Do you love a pedicure? Indulge. What about a soothing face mask as part of your bedtime ritual? To quote 1970, “If it feels good, do it.”

Do that one thing. What’s the one nagging chore? A bag of donation clothes that’s lived in your car for a month? A teetering shelf in the pantry? An overflowing junk drawer that needs to be sorted? Do that thing, and only that thing. Then savor the satisfaction.